Sunday, April 15, 2018

The power of brother. . .

It has been three years since I last saw and spoke to Kailash. The day, or in fact the last week of his, on this earth is etched as an ediagraphic memory deep in my heart and brain. On the tenth of April 2015, I called him to come home. He denied it owing to some hospital duty that weekend. Further, he promised to come on the 14th of April - The New Year's Day, The birthday of my Mother, The Day of divine worship Vishu, the day of him to start his prayers and fasting for Sabari Mala. His work commitments never allowed him to join me for all these celebrations during the second weekend and third week of April.

 But on 16 of April, when I boarded my bus to be back to Chennai, I called him. His last minutes on earth and his last conversation with me is, " A girl gets complete when she is married off and earns a good name at the in-laws. Girls are like the paddy crop: they are like the 'Naththu' at the parents home and at right time and age, like how the Nathu(young paddy crop) is planted in the field to yield golden grains, the girls should be married off to attain the bliss of womanhood." These words convinced me to say okay for a wedding.

His one and only criteria for my husband to be was the boy should respect me and treat me with dignity, no matter what.He continued his advice, " Trust the family. If the family has moral values, the boy will be the best of all. In any case, never let go of your respect and become a victim of comparison. Stand with gentle valor guarded by love. In case of any problem, give me a call and say that you want to meet me. I PROMISE I WILL BE NEXT TO YOU IN THE MINIMUM POSSIBLE TIME in whichever corner of the world you are. Until then, try to be patient and avoid confrontations.I will never let you face anything alone." 
Dr.Raj Kailash Mohan - Painted by Poongavanam Arts
He won. He won on that very same day, same minute in gaining my confidence, in gaining my acceptance to a wedding which my parents could not. He made me realize the essence of life, morale and womanhood. Till date, I do not realize how could a young kiddo talk word with so much meaning. His promise and his words of wisdom is the only strength that I rely upon. It is truly difficult for me to follow his words to a tee. 

There’s a tendency for people to make his death the pinnacle of dying. I dunno how he went. I dunno if he was afraid to leave the three of us alone. I dunno if he underwent a lot of pain. But I know for sure, He was so loved, He had a hearty conversation with all the three of us,  minutes before he left. But none of these is considered. Many people, treated by him, are revived back to life. Why can't he be? Why did he leave so early? What did he feel when he breathed his last? Did he know that was the last breath he took? There are many unanswered questions in all our hearts. But, lest we convinced that he is definitely that guardian angel from up above the sky, longing to look at our smiles.