December
is the month of joy, the month of celebration and the month of winter. Kailash was
an ardent Ayyappa devotee. Year after year, every year, he used to visit
Sabarimala after strenuous and disciplined fasting and strict adherence to the
rules. He gained many lovable souls during this journey and his ‘Swamy Saranam’.
For all the reasons we had a big number of friends to be with us, it was also
undeniable the friends he brought into our lives
through his devotion, was a huge draw. He was, so in turn were we, surrounded by
beautiful people that were not just showing off their devotion and the
pilgrimage trips, but they lived it to the very word of being an Ardent Ayyapa
devotee.
His
first trip to the Sabari Mala happened when he was a toddler. Everyone in the
troupe, when they returned, spoke so proud of this baby boy, a toddler, who
carried his pious irumudi all by himself throughout the journey and was thoroughly disciplined,
as well. When we asked him, how the trip was, he said with a frown on his face,
with so much of sigh, that the God he saw was of
urgency to poop! We all laughed out loud, looking at his innocence. But when
the Guruswamy explained about the significance of the sitting position of the
Lord, he listened to it carefully and never forgot. Every trip of him, he was
sincere. He was devoted. He was honest. He brought the prasad and would share it
with everyone he knew. He would let me take the divine ghee and ashes to my
college. My then HoD did appreciate that gesture then.
It has been almost thirty-two months since I know that he would
never come back with those ghee and bells. Every
time I see a Swamy in black dress or brown dress, I see him in them.
Every time I hear that Saranagosham, anywhere, I am struck with the strongest
desire that, somewhere in the group of Swamy Mars, He would be there, His
bright innocent face would flash in. Every devotee that he knew of, used to update
us about their Sabari Mala trip and would bring home, the divine Prasadam. His
recent troupe members, never fail to leave his regular chair empty. Upon their
return, they tell us, “We saw Kailash at the Sannidhanam!”. Everyone made us
believe, he is there, living with the Lord. Be it KR mama, Shree Raju sir,
Shri. Aravind, Balu Gurusami or Siva Gurusami or MSS Mama, be it any of the
ardent devotees who visit the PanthalaRaj
year after year, they tell us that they saw Kailash with HIM and they believe
Kailash is with HIM. I cannot stop
hoping to see him just for one day, one day when he returned from the
SabariMala Yatra with so much positivity, the one day when he had so much of stories
to share, the one day when we used to be all ears to listen to the the description
of the pilgrimage, the one day when he would bring something for the three of
us for the wedding day that got over and the birthdays that was to come, the
one day when I could happily irritate him and scold him after forty-five days,
the one day when he would also get equally irritated to reprimand me, and for
that one day, I am ready to redeem my 1000 days. With the hope of seeing him in
different forms of life, Ushering into the New year and the years to come….
